A Day on the Ark
by Thursaz
Summary: Giftfic for AnonFirefly, following her prompt: "Let me tell you something. The three scariest bots on the Ark are: An angry Optimus, a pissed-off Ratchet, and a smiling Prowl."
1. Chapter 1

A/N: To those who follow 'Another Chance', it's not abandoned. It's just on hold. And probably up for revision. But I'll be finishing it first, yeah.

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Quite frankly, Ironhide had never seen Prime quite so angry before.

Considering the fact that he had been with the leader of the Autobots for a long, long time, as well as the fact that he had seen what Optimus could do when he was angry, like what he had done to Starscream that one time… Ironhide winced. Whatever was going to happen now, it wasn't going to be pretty. Even Ironhide could feel the pressure, and he wasn't a mech that was known for his empathy.

Optimus turned his livid gaze onto Ironhide and the warrior, stoic though he was, still flinched internally. He knew that he wasn't really the target of the Prime's frustration, but he also knew that he was at least partially to blame. _I am going to kill those twins_, he growled internally. He'd known that he should have protested Optimus' choice of putting Sunstreaker and Sideswipe on his team, but he hadn't said anything. Didn't want to anger the boss, as it were, and he knew the strategic importance of having twins on a team. They had the safest method of communication; one that couldn't be hacked even by mechs such as Soundwave. Besides, what could possibly go wrong? Even the twins couldn't possibly screw up such a simple mission…

Apparently, he'd been wrong. The twins and their jet judo. They took every available opportunity to practice it, for some daft reason that Ironhide couldn't quite identify. The idiots had jumped onto Skywarp, the both of them, throwing the Decepticon completely off and making the jet crash… right into Mirage. The poor mech had almost died; the impact had been hard enough to shake up the very volatile energon that coursed through the mech's fuel lines. Mirage had, quite literally, exploded. It was similar to that of one of Wheeljack's inventions, actually, although the explosion was less spectacular. There had been that time one of Wheeljack's weapons had blown up half a planet… Luckily, it had been uninhabited.

It did not, however, change the fact that Mirage was very badly damaged. Ironhide almost winced to think of what Ratchet might be doing now. Fixing Mirage, obviously, but he was probably also throwing wrenches at the twins. They were also pretty damaged by the explosion, after all. Either way, he was really glad that he wasn't in the medbay.

"I am disappointed in you, Ironhide," the Prime rumbled, and although his tone was calm, Ironhide could feel a tension behind his voice, ready to spring. Optimus was definitely very angry. He tried to move, but found that he was rooted to the ground.

Optimus was, to say in the least, _terrifying_ when he was angry. Unlike Ironhide. Everyone was used to Ironhide. Optimus was… different. He was almost never angry. Heck, half the crew probably hadn't seen the mech angry before. Ironhide was the only one who had, and he _really_ hadn't wanted to experience it a second time.

"Sorry," Ironhide responded gruffly. Optimus was really the only mech who could draw an apology out of him. Ironhide normally wasn't scared of anything- It was a war that they were in, and he had seen countless atrocities- But Optimus…

He wasn't like Ironhide. When Ironhide got angry, he would make threats. Shoot something. Cause explosions. Yell. Scare the crap out of any humans or smaller bots that might be nearby. Optimus, on the other hand, didn't say a word, kept everything in, and exuded an overwhelming _presence_. Had Ironhide been a lesser warrior, he would have been shaking. As it was, he was barely able to keep himself calm. Nevertheless, he forced himself to meet the eyes of his leader.

"You should have kept better control of your team." Optimus wasn't yelling at all. His voice was kept low, dangerous. It showed just how angry he was. "You were the commander of the team. I _entrusted_ their lives to you. Your lack of control of the twins have nearly lost us a soldier and a dear friend."

Ironhide couldn't help it. He bristled. "With all due respect, sir, keeping control of the twins is harder than you think it is."

Optimus' eyes narrowed, and Ironhide almost took as step back. His foot unconsciously twitched. Years and years of battle had honed his instincts well, and they were now screaming at him that he was in danger. He wondered if it was too late to run. Probably.

"You could have stopped them." Optimus' eyes flashed dangerously. Ironhide didn't say anything. Anything that he could have said would only have made it worse.

Optimus' fist slammed hard onto the table, and Ironhide looked up in surprise, taking a step back. The Prime had never, ever expressed his anger like that. He was usually able to keep calm. Just how angry was he…?

Seeing the look in Ironhide's optics, Optimus frowned. He didn't want the warrior to be afraid of him. It would be best if Ironhide left before he got any more angry. Taking a deep breath o calm himself down, Optimus said shortly, "Dismissed."

Ironhide turned and walked slowly out of the room, trying his best not to show that he was afraid. He wasn't afraid. He had merely been… overwhelmed by the unexpected anger from his leader. Behind him, he heard a door open, the one that had been installed specially for humans, and stopped for a moment curiously.

"Hey Optimus, have you seen-" Sam didn't even have to look up at the mech's face to see just how angry Optimus was. He could feel it the moment he stepped in the room. Sam stopped midway, gave a little squeak, and then fell over himself trying to get back out of the room.

"Uh- I- You're probably busy right? I'm sorry and yeah I wouldn't want to disturb you so you can keep doing whatever it is that you're doing and I hope you're not mad that I interrupted you because I totally didn't know that you were busy not that you are busy of course I'm just not sure and you know what I think I'll come back later when it's safer… I mean when you're less busy, don't worry it wasn't that important anyway I could always wait a day or two…" Sam's voice trailed off into the corridor as he continued talking. Ironhide almost chuckled. The human had a strange habit of talking in a long string of words when he was panicked. Then he felt Optimus' glare on him and quickly slipped out of the room with a murmured apology.

Then he jumped as the door opened again and Optimus walked out. Apparently he had decided to take a walk. Not really a good idea, considering he was still livid and you could feel his anger a mile away.

The first instance of it being a bad idea came… quite soon, surprisingly. Blurr zoomed toward them, skidded to a stop when he saw Optimus' expression, and zoomed off in the opposite direction without a word. The expression on his face was comical, though Ironhide had barely caught it. The scene looked more like Blurr had run towards them and then bounced off an invisible wall. Optimus was actually caught off guard for an instant, then his expression darkened as he realised just why Blurr had run off. Ironhide winced internally. This was… not going to be a good day at the base.

Impulsively, Ironhide decided to follow Optimus. He was pretty much one of the only Autobots that would be able to hold the large 'bot at bay, after all, and even he would have trouble doing that. Given the mood that Optimus was in… Ironhide didn't think that Optimus would ever actually hurt any of them. But he might do it by accident. Or maybe a part of him just wanted to see how the others would react to Optimus. A suicidal part of him. He'd get his processor checked for glitches, but he didn't want Ratchet anywhere near him.

Sure enough, the instant Optimus entered the rec room, everything went silent and all of the mechs looked up at him. That wouldn't have been at all unusual, since it normally happened like that, but Bumblebee spit out what looked to be a full gallon of energon onto Cliffjumper's face when Optimus walked in, and Red Alert leapt up and looked about wildly, half transforming his arm into a weapon before realizing that it was Optimus that was causing the disturbance.

"Sir, I will be frank," Red Alert spoke seriously. "Are you a clone of Optimus?"

Optimus stared at the security officer in complete disbelief while Ironhide heaved a sigh of surprise and no small amount of exasperation. The security officer could sometimes make paranoia seem like an art. Where _was_ he able to come up with a dozen conspiracies where none existed? Ironhide was mildly sure that the 'bot believed all of the human conspiracies, too. It would certainly explain why he had avoided the human Red Cross member like the plague. Not that there was any logical reason for. The conspiracy went that they took the blood of other humans; not that they took energon from the Cybertronians. Red Alert had no reason to be scared of the Red Cross members.

"I…" Optimus was, for once, at a complete loss of words. He had no idea what to say to the security officer, who was actually running a scan over the Prime to ensure that he was who he said he was. Not in the mood to handle Red Alert and his paranoia, Optimus turned and stalked out of the room. Ironhide took stock of the chaos, realizing that Cliffjumper, in his fright of Optimus, hadn't even noticed the energon all over his face. Ironhide surmised that the programs that Ratchet had installed on Cliffjumper had come into place. The programs prevented him from drawing a gun on a fellow autobot by offlining him. Normally Cliffjumper would never have agreed to something like that, but after the incident with mistaking Mirage for a traitor, he had pretty much forced Ratchet to install the programs. Ironhide almost admired him for that bravery. The bravery of facing Ratchet, that was. Ratchet was… not an easy mech to deal with. Even for Ironhide.

The next room that Optimus entered was one that Ironhide recognised as where he always went if he needed to calm himself down after a rough day. Or in this case, after getting really angry. It was Elita One's grave, a special room that the Cybertronians had set aside to honour the fallen femme. This would have been the perfect place for Optimus to relax, had Hound not been there, tending to the flowers. Well, that wouldn't have been much of a problem, either.

Unfortunately, Hound looked up as Optimus entered, and the look on the Prime's face surprised- and probably scared- him enough so that the poor mech stepped backwards and tripped over his own foot, landing with the watering can on top of him and spilling water right into his systems. Ironhide winced. Normally the Cybertronians, such as they were, were waterproof; but only because they closed their plating to protect themselves from the water. When it wasn't needed, their plating was usually left open to allow for faster cooling. In Hound's case, the water got into his systems and short-circuited him, almost instantly offlining him as subroutines automatically engaged, preventing electricity from running through the affected area.

"Slag!" Ironhide growled and pushed his way past the stunned Optimus, grabbing Hound's prone body and lifting him. He had to get the mech to Ratchet, and fast. Normally, he hated the medbay, but this was an emergency. If the water somehow got into his spark chamber, there was a chance that Hound's spark would be extinguished. Water was _dangerous_ to the mechs. Which was why most of them kept their plating closed, despite how uncomfortable it was. Hound, on the other hand, had insisted that he wanted to experience as much 'fresh air' as possible. Where the mech had gotten the idea from, Ironhide had no idea. Either way, it hadn't been a good idea then, and it wasn't now, as Hound had proved.

Ironhide ran as fast as he could, his footsteps thundering through the hall. Many mechs along the hall looked up curiously as he approached, but a glare from him quickly made them avert their gazes, though Ironhide could see some of them still sneaking a peek. He logged their names and typed a note to kill them later. For now, he had to get Hound to the medbay.

Ironhide crashed into the medbay without bothering to knock.

That turned out to be quite the mistake, because the medic had been in the middle of operating on Mirage and looked up at Ironhide, his glare rivaling even Optimus'. Ratchet's eyes narrowed when he saw the prone form of Hound. Quickly checking, and finding that Mirage was stable, he grabbed Hound and used a spare hand to push Sunstreaker off one of the tables and place Hound on it instead. He knew that the yellow mech would complain about it later, but the slagger deserved it at any rate.

"Water damage?" Ratchet asked himself, then turned to Ironhide, eyes narrowing again. "What. Did. You. Do?" Ratchet punctuated each word with a twist of his wrench as he worked on Hound. Ratchet wasn't even looking at him, and yet Ironhide could feel his death glare. The soldier swore that Ratchet could sometimes be worse than Optimus himself. The medic could probably scare even _Megatron _if he was sufficiently pissed. Shuddering slightly, Ironhide took a step back, preparing to escape.

As he turned, a wrench flew right across his face and Ironhide flinched backwards.

"Don't even think about it," Ratchet growled. "You're staying here until I'm done."

Ironhide sighed, sinking back against the wall. He knew if he tried to get out, Ratchet would only take revenge on him later when he had to go to him to get fixed. It was best, for now, to do as the medic said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Give me my wrench," Ratchet ordered, and Ironhide started from his resting position on the wall, looking at the medic incredulously.

"_Now,_" Ratchet growled, and a shudder ran through Ironhide's frame. _This_ was why Ratchet was feared amongst all of the crew members. He was somehow able to produce a menacing tone that could shake the hardest of mechs right down to their very core. His death glare was pretty potent, too. Ironhide wasn't sure which was worse, and was glad that the medic wasn't looking in his direction.

"Slag it, are you trying to kill Hound? Give me the wrench _now!_" Ratchet finally turned from his work to glare at Ironhide. Knocked back to his senses both from fear for Hound's life as well as the force of Ratchet's glare, Ironhide scuttled to grab the wrench and, without thinking, tossed it to Ratchet.

Ironhide winced even as Ratchet reached up and snatched it out of the air. To his surprise, Ratchet didn't say a word as he immediately went to work on loosening a panel in Hound's internal systems, but not before Ironhide caught a slight smirk on the medic's face.

What was the damn medic smirking about?

Running over the last few moments in his head, he groaned- internally, not wanting to disturb Ratchet- as he realised that when Ratchet had turned to glare at him, he had moved to get the wrench like some slagging _youngling. _The medic had damn well better not have the thing on tape. Sadistic mech.

Ironhide let a slight growl out of his throat. Without looking up, Ratchet spoke, in a sweet tone that was twice as scary as the normal, menacing one. "Problems with your vocal processor, Ironhide?" he asked. "Perhaps I should shut it down until I fix the glitch."

"Nothing's wrong," Ironhide ground out. Not for the first time, he wondered if the medic had installed some sort of mod on his vocal processor to make it so truly petrifying. He knew he hadn't been the only mech to wonder that same thing. In fact, he was pretty sure that Jazz had asked the same thing to Ratchet, only to have the medic make do on the promise that he had made vorns ago on Cybertron and dismantle the saboteur's vocal processor. He'd left the poor mech's voice untended to for a full week after that, until Optimus had ordered the medic to fix it.

Ratchet said nothing and went back to work on Hound, growling when he found that a little water had indeed seeped into Hound's spark chamber. Normally, that wouldn't happen, but apparently Hound had loosened the catch on his spark chamber as well. Probably because of the whole 'fresh air' thing. Ironhide couldn't understand the appeal of the air on Earth.

"Hold this," Ratchet said and shoved what looked like some sort of hose into the mech's arms. Surprised, Ironhide stumbled slightly, but kept his hold on the hose. As Ratchet put one end of the hose into Hound's body, it became clear that it was, in fact, some sort of heater. The thing was burning his hands and the water in Hound's body was quickly turning into steam as it evaporated. Ironhide knew that Hound's cooling systems would prevent him from overheating, but wasn't it risky to-

Ironhide hissed as the heat got to him and his processor screamed out errors. His cooling system was incredibly efficient, given that he was a soldier and would otherwise overheat in battle, but the heat at his hands was concentrated. Ratchet was holding the hose thing quite a distance away from Hound, so the heat had the time to dissipate, but he was suffering direct contact with the thing.

Ironhide just _knew_ that the slagger of a medic had done it on purpose.

And then he would have to go back to the medic so that he could check up on his hands. Gritting his teeth, Ironhide tried to let go- Ratchet could hold the weight of the slagging thing by himself- only to find the hose was stuck to his hand.

It was slagging _welded_ to him. Ironhide _swore_ he could hear the medic chuckling. Ratchet was either _really_ pissed off at him, or he was just horribly sadistic. Ironhide was pretty sure it was the latter, despite the unnaturally tense shoulders and the glint from his optics indicting otherwise.

Finally, Ratchet spoke. Ironhide was relieved. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but a _quiet_ pissed Ratchet was ten times scarier than a _loud_ pissed Ratchet. Granted, what Ratchet said didn't do anything to calm his nerves.

"What on earth did you do to Hound?" Ratchet spoke quietly, something that was rather uncharacteristic of him. Ironhide frowned. "The water damage is… extensive. This couldn't have happened unless someone poured water directly into his open panels. Why were they open in the first place?"

"First, I didn't do anything," Ironhide scowled. "It was Optimus. Hound was watering the plants at Elita-One's grave, and you know how he is about fresh air and all that. His panels were open, Optimus walked in, scared Hound, and he poured the water all over himself." He sent a databurst of his memories of the situation.

Ratchet paused and looked up. "Elita-One's grave, you say?"

The rather peculiar tone of the medic made Ironhide look up sharply. The medic had an expression on his face that was _frightening, _to say in the least. It told Ironhide that the medic was about to do something that was in no way a good idea.

Sure enough, Ratchet looked hound over. Once he had determined that the 'bot was in no danger, he stood up. Ironhide frowned. The medic could _not_ be thinking of what Ironhide thought he was thinking. Could he? Surely the medic wouldn't…

"I'm going to kill him," Ratchet growled, and Ironhide's hopes were shattered.

"Don't. Ratchet, Optimus is in a terrible mood and-" Ironhide began, but Ratchet fixed him with a steely glare that momentarily left his speechless. For a single, absurd moment, Ironhide wondered if Ratchet had a mod for his eyes, too. He quickly shook the thought off and gathered himself, only to find that Ratchet had already gone out into the hallways and heading towards Optimus.

Ironhide quickly hurried out of the medbay (bringing along the entire heater-hose thing with him, which was quite a sight) and into the hall, keeping a close optic on Ratchet as he stomped through the hallways. A frightened squeak came to his audio receptors and Ironhide looked down to determine the source of the noise.

It was Sam, once again, and this time he was holding a bunch of supplies. Laboratory equipment, it seemed, so chances were that he was helping Perceptor. He was absolutely petrified. As Ratchet stalked past him, the human stumbled to get out of the way despite knowing that Ratchet would never step on him, and in doing so, he stumbled. Had Ironhide not reached down with a finger to support the human, Perceptor's equipment would have been shattered.

…Not that he had been trying to protect Perceptor's equipment instead of the boy.

"Th-Thanks," Sam spoke, and Ironhide nodded in acknowledgement. He was rather distracted trying to find Ratchet again, having lost sight of the medic when he had helped Sam. Not that it really mattered; he knew the way to Elita-One's grave. If he couldn't find Ratchet, then he'd just have to go there himself. Accessing the internal map of the Ark that he had downloaded, he chose the shortest route and thundered down it, almost stepping on Epps in the process. Epps let out a string of curses, some of which Ironhide didn't even know _existed_, and he had access to the whole of the internet. Some of them were Cybertronian, too. Ironhide let out a quick apology, but didn't bother to stop.

When he reached Elita-One's grave, he froze. Ratchet was already there. He wasn't sure how the medic had arrived faster than him, but he was more concerned with the fact that Optimus was still there. That meant that Ratchet was about to confront Optimus. That meant that he hadn't reached Optimus in time.

Neither Optimus nor Ratchet noticed him despite the racket that he had made in entering the room; that in itself was a bad sign. The two of them almost never came to blows, and the only time Ironhide had ever known them to argue was when Optimus' decisions conflicted with the wellbeing of the mechs. That in itself happened rarely, but this time Optimus had injured another mech. Granted he hadn't done it on purpose, but this was _Ratchet _that they were talking about. Ratchet didn't care if you had done it on purpose or not, he only cared that it had been done.

"What in the Matrix were you _thinking?!" _Ratchet exploded before the Prime even had a chance to say a word. To his credit, Optimus actually looked somewhat ashamed. Then again, the only reason that Ironhide even noticed that was because of how long he had known the Prime. The shame came and went in a flash, and was almost instant replaced by Optimus' 'pissed-commander' voice.

"Do not blame me," Optimus growled. Yes, he growled. Ironhide thought that he might get Ratchet to check his audio receptors later. For now, he had to try to break up this fight before it got any worse. Somehow, though, he couldn't find it in himself to move. Ironhide was old; experienced. He had been through countless battle scenarios and built up his own instincts, and those instincts were now screaming at him to _get the slag away_ only he knew he couldn't. "Hound's panel's were _open. _That's against the regulations, anyway." Optimus continued.

"Not that I'm not going to slag him later, but you're the one that scared Hound in the first place." Ratchet growled right back.

"How was _I_ to know he would be scared just by looking at me?!"

"Maybe by looking at how _everyone else_ reacted to you?"

"Slag it, Ratchet, I don't pay attention to every little detail!"

"_Little? _How the slag is everyone jumping when they look at you _little_?"

"I was a little _preoccupied_ on other things, okay? Most of my processor was-"

"If you were so focused that you didn't see anything else, then-"

"I don't see-"

"You DO see, or you wouldn't h-"

"I have a right to be angry that my soldiers were car-"

"And _I_ have a right to be angry that you nearly slagging OFFLINED ONE OF YOUR OWN SOLDIERS!"

"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP ALREADY?!" Ironhide finally snapped. Their yelling had attracted half the base to them, and they were looking at the arguing pair with a mixture of awe and fear. Of course, the moment he had yelled, the aforementioned half of the base turned their gazes to him.

The first one to speak was Optimus.

"You're one to talk!" the Prime yelled. Ironhide just stared. Optimus had never, ever lost his temper. And Ratchet was still pissed. He looked around… yep, the place was vacated. Empty. He was the only one still there, because everyone else had been scared off by the arguing 'bots. "You _welded_ Ironhide's hands to a heat ray?! Now who's being hypocritical?!"

"I did that because he was irresponsible!" Ratchet growled right back. Ironhide, oddly enough, wasn't scared anymore. He was just pissed.

"WILL THE TWO OF YOU JUST SHUT YOUR SLAGGING MOUTHS?!" Ironhide yelled, throwing his hands up in despair causing the heat ray (it _still _just looked like a slagging hose) to flip upwards and hit him in the aft. Ironhide refused to react.

Of course, both Optimus and Ratchet ignored him like he didn't even exist. Technically, in their minds, he didn't, for now. He was just something else to argue over. In all the vorns of his life, he had never seen either of the mechs so angry. That might have been because _no one _talked back to Ratchet _or_ Optimus when they were mad. This was the first time that the two of them were both angry, _at the same time,_ and were arguing with each other… oh _slag_.

Apparently, one of the mechs who had witnessed the argument (or possibly one of the humans, given that few mechs were suicidal enough to report on Optimus or Ratchet) had reported the incident to Prowl.

Much slower than it normally would, Ironhide's processor registered three things.

The first was that Prowl was here.

The second was that prowl had placed half the mechs of the Ark in strategic locations all around Optimus and Ratchet.

The third, and most horrifying of all… Prowl was _smiling_.

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**Author's Note**: Yeah, I tried changing my writing style a little for this. I'm hoping it worked.


End file.
